Communication

Read the following scenario:

 

Tanisha was sitting in a chair. She got up to use the bathroom. When she came back, Dana was sitting in that seat. Tanisha asked for her seat back, and Dana refused to move. She pushed Tanisha’s hand away from the seat when Tanisha moved her arm to take the book bag she had left there. Tanisha responded by pulling her book bag off of the seat hard enough to move the seat backwards.

 

State of South Carolina Department of Education Comprehensive Health Education Instructional Units and Resources for Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault Prevention Standards and Performance Indicators, p. 85

 

Think about the actions of both Tanisha and Dana. Do you think there could have been a better way to handle the situation? Instead of talking things out, both Dana and Tanisha reacted poorly. This scenario is an example of unhealthy communication.

 

Unhealthy communication occurs when we don’t share our feelings and talk through our problems. Maybe we are afraid of confrontation, and don’t want to start a fight. Or maybe we are afraid that disagreeing will cause our friends to stop liking us. Instead of sharing our feelings, we avoid the topic to keep the peace.

 

Or maybe we get upset by someone else’s actions, like Tanisha did. Instead of sharing our feelings and talking about why we are upset, we react verbally, by yelling at someone, or physically, by shoving them out of our way as we storm past them. The act of “lashing out” at another person is unhealthy. It shows that we are not really dealing with our thoughts and feelings.