Healthy Relationships

If a friend tells you that they are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, there are a few things you can do to help that person. First, be sure to believe them. Oftentimes, victims of unhealthy relationships feel that they won’t be believed, which is why they do not share their experience with anyone. If a friend tells you that they are a victim of an unhealthy or abusive relationship, believe them. Also, victims of unhealthy and abusive relationships often have low self-esteem, and they blame themselves for the abuse. This is often due to the abuser’s control over the victim. Tell your friend that they are not at fault. It is very important that you do not tell your friends about what happened. If the abuser finds out that the victim has shared information about the abuse, it could make the situation more dangerous. You should contact a trusted adult about the situation, but do not discuss it with your friends.

Your friend took a big step just by telling you about the abuse. Don’t tell your friend what to do. It may make them feel defensive or out of control. Help your friend make good decisions. If you think that your friend is in immediate danger, share that with your friend. If your friend does not feel comfortable talking to a trusted adult, then you should tell a trusted adult about the situation. Oftentimes the victim of an abusive relationship does not want their partner to get into trouble. Therefore, they don't tell anyone. But you should encourage your friend to talk to a trusted adult, and you should, as well. There are also many resources in the community that are available.

You can contact the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline at 1-866-331-9474, or text “loveis” to 22522. You or your friend can chat with an advocate who can help.