Healthy Relationships: Part 2

When you have started a romantic relationship, you will want to demonstrate appropriate dating behavior. You may be thinking that the word “appropriate” is quite subjective, and you are correct. Different cultures and even different communities have varying norms for appropriate dating behavior. However, there are some general guidelines you can follow to help you make sure that you are acting appropriately.

 

 

1. Talk to your parents/guardians

 

Once you have started dating and you have had many open and honest discussions with your partner about boundaries and what you each want out of the relationship, be sure to talk with each partner’s parents or guardians. They, too, have a say. Parents often set limits on appropriate dating behavior, and you should follow them. For instance, parents can set curfews, restrict places you can go on a date, limit cell phone use, and even limit whom and at what age you can begin dating. Having open communication with parents/guardians can help you understand why these limits are set and give you a voice in setting the rules.

 

 

2. "No" means "no"

 

Although boundaries are discussed and set and everyone has clear expectations about the relationships, sometimes our feelings about those expectations change. Sometimes one partner tries to pressure the other to engage in sex or other behavior that they are uncomfortable with. This type of pressure is never okay and quite often is illegal. If you are ever pressured by your partner to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with, you should clearly say “no.” On the other hand, if your partner says “no” to you, then you are not allowed to pressure that person any further. Doing so crosses the line to inappropriate behavior and could be illegal.

 

 

3. Be Honest

 

Lying about your relationship is always problematic. This includes lying to your partner, your parents or guardians, or even yourself. Being honest and open about your expectations and feelings is the best way to communicate and a cornerstone of appropriate dating behavior. Before you tell a lie, think about what the consequences of the person finding out the truth and losing trust in you would be. Ask yourself why you are telling the lie. More than likely you will realize that the lie only leads to negative consequences and that being open and honest would have been better.