Dating violence occurs more often than most people realize. It is important to understand that dating violence does not happen just to women or just to men. Instead, this is a problem faced by all genders. Physical and sexual abuse and violence cannot be predicted based upon someone’s gender, race, socioeconomic status, or other factors; it affects people from all areas of life.

 

As many as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood. Dating violence is a prevalent issue that affects a large number of teens regardless of socioeconomic status, race, or ethnicity.

 

According to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), sexual assault can be defined as any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without both parties’ consent; sexual assault includes rape, attempted rape, fondling, and unwanted sexual touching. Rape is defined as sexual penetration without consent. Any type of sexual assault is a serious crime. It is never acceptable to sexually assault someone.

 

Unfortunately, a large number of physical assaults and rapes are committed by intimate partners. Each year, women are the victims of approximately 4.8 million intimate-partner-related physical assaults and rapes. Men are the victims of approximately 2.9 million intimate-partner-related physical assaults. This behavior is never acceptable, regardless of the relationship you have with a person. Being in a relationship with someone does not grant them the right to have power over you or victimize you in any way.

 

Excuses should never be made for the abusers in any situation. There is no justification for their behavior. It is a misconception that substance abuse problems are to blame for abusive acts. In reality, abusive behavior is a result of one person’s need for power or control over their partner. Although substance abuse may cause the violence to escalate, or get worse, it is not the root cause of the issue. And it is never an excuse. Addressing substance abuse alone will not make the abuse stop.

 

 

- State of South Carolina Department of Education Comprehensive Health Education Instructional Units and Resources for Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault Prevention Standards and Performance Indicators, p. 161

 

 

Any relationship where one person is trying to assert control or power over the other person is considered an abusive relationship. It is not healthy, and it is not acceptable. It is also never the victim’s fault.

 

 

Admitting that you are in an abusive relationship, or have been the victim of sexual assault, can be challenging. You may not want to talk about it and instead deny that the relationship is unhealthy, or that you have been a victim of assault. You also may feel scared that your partner will get into trouble. Unfortunately, ignoring the problem will only make it worse. If you feel that you are in danger, you should tell a parent, teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult to get help immediately. They will do so without making you feel bad about asking for help. Your safety is the highest priority.

 

 

If you or anyone you know has experience with these or other difficult situations, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Talking to a parent, teacher, counselor, family member, or other trusted adult can help you to resolve the situation before things become too difficult to control.